Praying for Zuzu

Still praying for Zuzu who is fighting for her life at the animal hospital.  Such a sweet dog and the best running partner.  Mowed the grass in  t-shirt in the sunshine (it was supposed to be cloudy).  Got a nice FaceTime with Anne Dujardin who I hadn’t talked to for 30 years or so 😳. Meditated but fighting not to fall asleep 😂. Grateful for Jazzy finding a Quip toothbrush head for me. It is the little things that matter.

Life is like a vegetable garden

Sometimes, I feel like I am really not doing a good job at this.  I need to work on the soil, the seeds, and ensure they get enough sun and water to thrive.  I get so busy but not always do much.  What do I want to be remembered for? If only I was truly there for my loved ones...

Finally back meditating and journaling.

It’s been so busy.  Grateful for the progress on the job front.  Grateful that Chloe shared a tiktok with me today. I need to get moving with Jasmine’s application to Monmouth. I also need to help John Dieser with a nice Tableau visualization.  Grateful for reconnecting with Sabine, Daniel, Polo, Fertom and Aye.

Trying to be a better version of myself

Good day overall as I made good progress at work and had a great meeting with John Dieser.  I still spend too much time on social media and feel pulled in too many directions.  Ang scares me a bit as she spends money on clothes for Chloe ($120) even though yesterday she got Easter presents and we do not have much money.  She acts like she doesn’t care.  And she doesn’t want to discuss spend with me.  I can hardly give a kiss on the head of the girls.  I don’t understand why they push me away so many times.  I get that they are becoming independent but it feels like Ang’s relationship with me -or lack of - influences them so much.  Lisa was also very short with me over texts.  She seemed stressed out too.  I personally do not feel much fear right now.  Thanks God, I can train on my bike.  It makes me happy.  Just like listening to Rich Roll.  I need to stay focused on gratitude to stay peaceful inside.

Is covid-19 a gift?

This may sound crazy to many.  Especially if you lost someone you loved or if you lost your income and have no financial reserves. 17 million Americans are unemployed right now. 20,000 died.  Kids are not going back to school this calendar year.  I feel bad for Jazzy whose graduation ceremony is in limbo.  But I am also so grateful that we are all healthy and all in ok situation from a financial perspective. I pray it stays like this. So many things feel right.  We are together more than ever. Much less of a rat race.  I find time to train and to meditate. To repair things like the beautiful lights by the fireplace.  I find time to help others like John Dieser with a Tableau dashboard for his company.  I reconnect more frequently with the family in Belgium.  I find time to grow our own veggies and herbs.  Life is good right now. And I saw a beautiful cardinal this morning.  Bird is the word.  

Grateful for so many things

Grateful for the YouTube video that allowed me to repair our toilet this morning: https://youtu.be/DaaV80P5Tww
I didn’t get a thank you from Angie but it made me happy.
Grateful for an awesome 6 mile run in Jacobsburg.  Ended up doing a PR for that loop that I did many times in the past 2 years.
Grateful for Angie for fixing me another delicious lunch-dinner. At least, there is still that good part in our relationship.
Grateful for getting dirt and veggies to start our garden tomorrow.
I got Angie pansies and rosemary but again, no thank you.
Grateful I could meditate 15 minutes tonight, even though that was a bit harder to focus.

Day 1. April 3, 2020. 2 weeks into covid-19 shelter

Why guitar string?
Because like a guitar string, if it is too tight, it breaks.  If it is too lose, it does not make a sound.  Tuned right, it provides harmony.  I just learned that from today’s meditation.  Why ppnamaste? Because peace, plants, namaste.  Rich Roll’s podcast signature.  One of my heroes.